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Thursday 31 May 2012

Untitled

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Life is a journey, not a destination. Alison, my advisor at Grove School, gave me that guidance soon after I arrived. I never understood how true that statement was until I decided to make my life a journey that would be unforgettable. I chose to make an impact on how I live everyday. I did not always hold this conviction, and I certainly did not always live with this mindset. I arrived at Grove School, a therapeutic boarding community, and wished that my time as a student would quickly fly by. Arriving at Grove’s door before my sophomore year, I felt trapped in a state of mind that I knew was not positive but I did not see the way to escape. This represented to me both the beginning of a road and also a place that may be safe. I knew that there was a possibility that the school offered a chance to get away from all the pain of being a freshman that was forced to deal with issues of acceptance, anxiety, and isolation on a grand scale in all aspects of life. I had experienced in one short year the sadness of divorce, death, and dislocation and had been left with low self-esteem and a negative reaction to an environment that was not comfortable or nurturing. I wanted to start fresh at this new school, quickly fix myself and get on with life as a “normal” teen-age student. I did not realize at that point that my journey of self-healing was just beginning.

Over the course of those two years, I went through a number of the stages of development and I learned to cope with the “death” of my old self and to re-emerge as a person with a new perspective. Struggling to work hard academically, emotionally, and socially everyday taught me that I could thrive and not just survive as a young adult. The change was gradual, but it was conscious. Before I left Grove, I decided to write a goodbye speech to share my newfound perspective on life. This is what my journey has taught me.

… Life is beautiful. Look outside at anything, whether it is a tree, a rock or the rain. Realize that what you have around you is why life is worth living. As clich�d as it might sound, live everyday as if it were your last. Not because it might be but because there is so much to experience and live for. Don’t be afraid to be who you are and learn to love and be proud enough to show it. There is a rhythm and a pattern to life and once you learn to accept and embrace, you will see what I am talking about. As I started this speech, I had said that I always wished for time to just fly by. This past month I begged it to crawl so that I might cherish my last few times with the people around me. But even as I leave, I still wish for time to just take its time, so that my life can be lived in every moment for what it is worth. Never forget that life is beautiful.

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