Sunday, 14 August 2011

Effective Communication

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Communication Competence - “Effective communication involves achieving one’s goals using Situational and Relational/Transactional information in a manner that, maintains, or enhances the relationship” �(Adler) with whom communication occurs.

Situational implies that you communicate based on the situation or environment you find yourself in.

Relational/Transactional “is something we do with others rather than to them.”-(Adler)

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My example was when I got in an argument with a hotel manager over spring break about how many people could be in the room.

a) Knowledge/Wide range of behaviors � I had just woke up and still drunk from the night before so I had a limited range to choose from

b) Adaptability/Choose appropriate behavior � (factors goal, context, other person)

c) Other Person She did not respect us, (stormed in our room yelling)

Context Heated, Frustrated on both sides, very confrontational on both sides Goal Tell her off, show my dislike, get her out of the room

d) Skill/ Perform Behavior - I went off on her

e) Empathy � She was feeling frustrated with spring breakers

f) Cognitive Complexity � She was tired of spring breakers, and was not going to back down from the confrontation

g) Involvement / Self monitor - I’m gunna speak up and share a piece of my mind with her, and insult her

h) Commitment to relationship � I did not care about our relationship so I had nothing to loose


C-control Self control

A- Affection The need to be liked

I- Inclusion The need to be included

R- Respect Your self Esteem

I- Identity Your self concept


A) “Violation of Expectations theory is when you insult ones expectations in a conversation. You get a positive or negative response based on meeting ones expectations”. �(Colangelo)

The violation of expectations theory is linked to CARI by

-maintaining others expectations for CARI

-it can maintain or enhance a relationship

-by violating ones expectations, you effect their CARI because it ends up changing their behavior towards yourself and others

B) “competent communicators know that acting appropriately increases the likelihood of achieving your goals” �(Colangelo). By being a competent communicator and knowing what you or other people want, you have a much higher likelihood of obtaining your objectives.


a) After tearing pages out of my diary [behavior], I’m not sure if you are upset with me [first interpretation], or just frustrated about the truths written in there [second interpretation], so are you mad at me, what’s up? [request for clarification]

b) By perception checking and getting a few interpretations of the conflict and getting clarification you become a competent communicator because you can read the other person and spell out what exactly needs to be discussed.

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