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Dear Truman
My heart is in torture and torment as endless tears embody a flowing drift down my right cheek. I do not understand what is happening to me. My soul is constantly excruciated as I feel the jolts and wounds of Seahaven backfiring on me. Seahaven was indeed a battlefield. My creation, the world that I have created for you, my son, has proved not be as stable and perfect as I would have thought. The crazed world of Seahaven has become nothing but a tragic memory for those who watch, control and live in it. It has turned out to be hell and chaos not only for you but for me as well, and I can now understand that. I know that my actions can not be justified by vain excuses, but god did not create man to be flawless. We are not perfect, and nothing can change that. I aspired to do what god did not do, and you were my chance to show it. All that I wanted for you was to be as perfect as possible. I sought to give you a good life, free from conflict and contention. I put you in a good family, and you were raised with good values and beliefs. You were the ideal son, and that is what made you so popular on television. As a child you were handsome and elegant; you were clever and comical, but ever so innocent. You were a role model to the world, and your image developed to be an American symbol of strength and supremacy.
As you grew older, your popularity among the media grew to be more passionate and alive. But no one was more passionate about you than me. I watched your very first steps, and watched everyday of your life as you grew from a premature birth to a mature man. Your intelligence was growing even faster than you were, and this created a strong natural sense of curiosity and desire to learn. Your curiosity and desires lead you to exploring, and posed a great danger to the future of the show. I was afraid that you would leave Seahaven and walk away from your life at any minute. This is why I had to manufacture ways to keep you on the island. We made various attempts to prevent you from leaving, such as the obligations and responsibilities layed on your shoulder by Meryll and your mother’s fake sickness. But it seems that we could not put an end to your craving of exploring, and thus we were forced to stage Kirk’s death in order to cause your fear of the water. You were still young, but yet you were proving to be a worthy match for me, and at times I must say your great intellect got the better of me. Although we were seen to be on opposing sides, I liked to think that we were achieving something together.
I aspired to show the people of the world that a perfect world is possible, and you were my number one assistant. Together, we were a team on a quest. As we proceeded to demonstrate a perfect society to the populations of the world, I could see the many similarities that we shared. Being your number one fan, it became apparent to me that our lives were both filled with passion and desire. We were fighters, we never gave up and fought fiercely for our beliefs. This often stimulated images in my mind, such as that of two lone soldiers fighting fearlessly together against a vicious army of millions, yielding hopes and dreams as our weapons. This was my source of inspiration, and I believed that we could be victorious. Your performance swept the audience off their feet, as you bravely pressed on, hunting for the truth. Although I had tried my best, there was nothing I could do to stop you. I was in severe shock and disbelief, but I know the damage done to your life was much greater, I can not even begin to imagine the severity. I am deeply sorry for the discomfort and suffering that I have caused. Please do not think that my role was to just merely control you and plot the events of your life. I saw myself as a guide for you, a light at the end of the tunnel if you like. It seems like you found your own guide within you, and although i’m in pain and agony over your recent leave, I am also very proud of you. I care for you Truman, and I learnt to love you and cherish you as one of my own. After all I have watched over you since you were born. I had watched you for so long that I began to learn your behaviour. I learnt to anticipate your actions, and with a few exceptions, I did so successfully. My anticipations and expectations turned out to be wrong in the end. I honestly thought that you would accept me as your father figure and stay in my world.
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My dreams were shattered when you discovered the truth and walked away from me. I felt betrayed and shocked, as I sat there helplessly watching in awe. I felt ashamed, as if my own son had just walked away from me. I felt my heart drop to my feet, as I was woken by the jagged teeth of reality. The decision had been made, and I sat there, powerlessly watching, staring as my world came crashing down.
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