How to be an idiot.Girl's Guide to losing love of your life.

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Self- indulgence is something that can swallow you whole without you even knowing it. You get comfortable where you are, maybe a little bit too comfortable, and thats when it all starts. First you get spoiled...you yourself, your personality, your ways of handling yourself in certain situations, your attitude, and so on. But you dont know that at the moment, you enjoy it, and think that finally life is treating you well. Everything seems to be glorious, and makes you want to scream from outbursts of happiness. You get so excited that you decide to give something back to the community - you start telling yourself that you should treat people the way you want to be treated yourself, and you do it. But do you stop to think that maybe, just maybe people differ in any way from you? Do you realize that the way you would treat yourself isnt something that the other individual might enjoy ? Or do you even know anymore how exactly you yourself want to be treated? When it is all in a process, these questions dont even ring a bell, and if they do, its a completely different bell they are ringing. You get angry at people, because they dont think the way you do. Then you start getting ideas in your head that maybe everyone does think exactly like you, but they are hiding themselves. You get overwhelmed by new things popping up in your head - am I reading peoples minds of what? You get insanely curious to what it might be, you keep guessing, coming up with new explanations and so on, while at the same time you are being chewed by that self-indulgence mentioned earlier. But you dont know it yet, and you wont listen to what anyone says...because hey, you think you already know it all. It goes on and on...and seems to be something magical...you feel like you have opened a door that other people could only dream of finding. By now you already forgot about everyone else around you, you dont notice the way things are going, because you in your own mind are always right...and since you made a great discovery of figuring people out, and being able to read their minds, you cant tell right from wrong anymore. You spend days and weeks and even months bathing in it, and it actually feels good. People around you start making remarks about your behavior...but you only hear what you want to hear - them denying the truth that you have found. You get lost in yourself...the priorities and ideas that you used to have are now adapted to your new way of thinking. You dont care what people say or how they act towards you anymore. You know that they are faking, and pretending they dont know that truth, so you disregard everything, and everyone. Then it starts getting too heavy, by now everyone is almost throwing up from the way you handle yourself, but you still dont even know it yet. You keep telling yourself that people will get punished for how they are misusing that sacred truth, and that you are going to be the only one in the end. I have no idea how all of this started, things happen for a reason. How can I be sure about anything thats going through my head anymore? Ive been fooled by my own self... Im still on a rough ride...but everything happens for a reason. So if you are up for keeping your mind open, keep it open not just for yourself. my own

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